So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
