At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
