I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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