Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
