I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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