The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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