I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
