after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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