I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My dick has a subreddit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
