if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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