I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
