Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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