well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
