you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
