She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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