last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
