i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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