Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
