I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just found a bag of teeth...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
