yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
