i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
