Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
