His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
