marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
