i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
