we're blogging at a bar
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
