That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
