Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
