Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize