Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just pee around me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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