It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize