I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
