she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
