hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
