A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
