He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She said her name was "party"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it glows. i had to have it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
