...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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