Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
