Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
