Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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