i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
