You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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