Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
