im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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