She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
