YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize