I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
