They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
