im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
