I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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