I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
