A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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