i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
