dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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