Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
