Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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