white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize