She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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