I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
