I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
