She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
