she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
