You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize