i need an iv and a liver transplant
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
