I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
