i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
